5. Celine Dion: Her face isn’t half as long as the other celebrities on this list but she makes number five for producing such awful music.

4. Mariah Carey: There definitely seems to be a positive correlation between diva’s and horse faces, this would make an excellent GCSE maths coursework.

3. Derrick Green: When Max Cavalera left Metal band Sepultura in 1996 the band decided to hire Horse Faced Derrick Green to distract people from the fact that their new material was rubbish.

2. Sarah Jessica Parker: SJP surely has the longest female horse face in human history. Lots of girls claim that she’s “really pretty” I am yet to mean a heterosexual man that agrees with this statement.

1.Chad Kroeger: The current undisputed king of horse faces, it will take a lot to knock this man of his horse face throne!

Other celebrities with Horse Faces worth mentioning are:

• Johnny Kerry: wasn’t included because he’s not a real celebrity
• Liv Tyler: not included as is quite attractive and Steven Tyler is ace!
• There was a rubbish Nu-metal band called “Kill 2 This” who achieved brief popularity in the early Noughties, one of the members of the band (I think it was the bassist) had the longest and most horse-like face that I’ve ever seen! Unfortunately I haven’t been able to find a picture of him. I once saw him at the “Rock Kitchen” club night in Manchester. Me and my friends danced round him in a mocking fashion, he pretended not to notice.

I’m sure they are lots more Horse face celebrities worth mentioning that I’ve forgotten, if you think of some add them in the comments section.

Pete Graham xXx