Horse Face top 5
February 19th, 2007 by 
Pete
There seem to be an increasing amount of Horse Faced Celebrities around these days.
Shockingly I couldn’t find any Horse Face lists searching on Google so I have taken it upon myself to compile one, here are Pete Graham’s top 5 horse faced celebs!
5. Celine Dion: Her face isn’t half as long as the other celebrities on this list but she makes number five for producing such awful music.
4. Mariah Carey: There definitely seems to be a positive correlation between diva’s and horse faces, this would make an excellent GCSE maths coursework.
3. Derrick Green: When Max Cavalera left Metal band Sepultura in 1996 the band decided to hire Horse Faced Derrick Green to distract people from the fact that their new material was rubbish.
2. Sarah Jessica Parker: SJP surely has the longest female horse face in human history. Lots of girls claim that she’s “really pretty” I am yet to mean a heterosexual man that agrees with this statement.
1.Chad Kroeger: The current undisputed king of horse faces, it will take a lot to knock this man of his horse face throne!
Other celebrities with Horse Faces worth mentioning are:
- Johnny Kerry: wasn’t included because he’s not a real celebrity
- Liv Tyler: not included as is quite attractive and Steven Tyler is ace!
- There was a rubbish Nu-metal band called “Kill 2 This” who achieved brief popularity in the early Noughties, one of the members of the band (I think it was the bassist) had the longest and most horse-like face that I’ve ever seen! Unfortunately I haven’t been able to find a picture of him. I once saw him at the “Rock Kitchen” club night in Manchester. Me and my friends danced round him in a mocking fashion, he pretended not to notice.
I’m sure they are lots more Horse face celebrities worth mentioning that I’ve forgotten, if you think of some add them in the comments section.
Pete Graham xXx
Posted in Banter, Pete Graham, celine dion, chad kroeger, derrick green, horse face, mariah carey, sarah jessica parker | 
19 Comments »
February 19th, 2007 at 4:38 pm
I,ve always thought that Nicolas Cage would look like Chad Kroeger if he had the perm and the goatee. Does that make him a semi horse face by association?!
February 19th, 2007 at 7:11 pm
I’m a girl and I don’t think SJP is pretty.
February 20th, 2007 at 2:39 pm
Ryan, Nicolas Cage does have quite a long face (I think he looks a bit like a work-horse), he’s definitely a contender if I do a follow up list.
Chris, I’m glad that you share my sentiments about SJP I just can’t see how that long hideous mug could appeal to anyone.
February 21st, 2007 at 10:35 am
Good list!
February 21st, 2007 at 3:00 pm
what about roadie boots??
i seem to remember in the song… “hey roadie boots, whats with the horse face? Long face, Long face.”
February 21st, 2007 at 3:38 pm
I wasn’t sure if Roadie boots is classed as a celebrity. He sure had one of the longest faces I’ve ever seen not to mention the greatest themetune I’ve ever heard!
June 18th, 2007 at 6:43 pm
I just met Chad Kroeger and he looks pretty good now. His hair is shorter and straight. He was also super nice. Not a horse face at all!
June 21st, 2007 at 1:41 pm
tori spelling has the longest face ever. sarah jessica parker is quite pretty.
July 18th, 2007 at 9:30 pm
i met chad kroeger too and he looks very hot!!!
pete, show me a picture of you…!?!?
July 19th, 2007 at 12:27 am
Celine Dion dosent have a horse face what you are talking about your just probably jealouse of her and SJP is pretty too
October 30th, 2007 at 6:16 pm
Chad Kroeger is so sexy. I myself like his hair longer. He has an amazing voice. Who ever thinks he’s ugly need’s there “head” checked. Typical guy comment.!!!!
April 21st, 2008 at 8:26 am
Nicolas Cage is a horse face for sho LOL
Also Tori Spelling, she should win!
April 26th, 2008 at 3:33 am
Right on about SJP she is a dog, I mean horse face girl. Hey she could be in the next Narnia movie as one of the half human, half horse creatures and would need no make-up
November 23rd, 2009 at 7:06 pm
I’d really like to see what you people look like.
Maybe you can start a Web site for
@ss faces.
November 30th, 2009 at 8:20 pm
How rude! I can’t believe you would make a list such as this. This is totally wrong.
May 27th, 2010 at 4:01 pm
OK. I don’t believe Mariah Carey has a horse face…too short. Tori Spelling? Yes, agreed! Her face looks like a permanently-attached caricature mask. You forgot one horse-faced candidate: R&B singer Ginuwine. Is/was he all that big a deal on your side of the pond?
June 12th, 2011 at 3:48 pm
I was trying to remember how I found your post – Peteamania » Blog Archive » Horse Face top 5 – but I can’t recall. I think other people would be interested in reading it as well, so I shared this page – http://blog.petegraham.co.uk/2007/02/19/horse-face-top-5/ – on Digg.com. I hope you don’t mind.
July 26th, 2011 at 9:44 pm
I started just surfing in and around and came across your site, You have got some good stuff to view, thanks a bunch
July 26th, 2011 at 9:47 pm
I was basically browsing around and found your website, You have got some good things to see, thank you