I haven’t been doing very well with my novelty Days this year. I missed Gorilla Suit Day (31st of Jan) as I didn’t know of it’s existence until a week afterwards. I was also unable to eat any Pancakes last Tuesday (Shrove Tuesday) as I didn’t have any Eggs in. I have decided to take it upon myself to research other novelty days which are happening this year so I don’t miss out.

March 17th this year is St Patrick’s day. In recent years it seems that Guinness have decided St Patrick’s day is a great excuse for people to pretend they’re Irish wear and wear stupid hats. Now I’m not a big fan of Guinness but I’m not going to complain about an excuse to go to the pub (even if it is full of drunken wallies singing U2 badly). Unfortunately March 17th this year falls on a Saturday so I’d have probably going out anyway. My top tip is to pull the over-sized Guinness hats at the sides so they completely cover peoples faces, this will stop them talking in fake Irish accents and also mean you can access the bar quicker. Interestingly March 18th is officially “having a big black poo” day.

St Georges Day falls on Monday 23rd of April this year. Why not celebrate by dressing up like a knight and slaying a dragon. Alternatively you could take part in some typical British pastimes such as drinking piss-weak larger all day (Carling is best), going for an Indian, or maybe some good old fashioned football hooliganism.

May 1st is traditionally the day of the May Day Riots, everybody loves a good riot so make sure you don’t miss this one!

September 21st is well worth putting down in your diaries as its Talk Like a Pirate Day gaarrrhhhhhh be sure not to miss this one me hearties!

Friday 13th of October 2006 was “Slap a Co-worker day”. The 13th is a Thursday this year I’m not sure if this is the official date, I will try to find out. That’s all the days I can think of for the time being, If you know of any that you think we all should be celebrating make sure you add them in the comments section.

Pete Graham xXx

If Kurt Cobain was still alive he would have been 40 on Tuesday of this week. I have drawn a picture of what I think he might look like if he was alive today.

Pete Graham xXx

Kelvin “Dr Quansoon” Quansah has sent me another piece of sterling material for this blog. Click on the links below to see scanned papers of real answers to maths exam questions:

• Cats Question
• Graph Question
• Expand Question
• Find X
• Heat Question
• C equals
• Proton Question
• Ramp Question

Rumours claim that many of the students that did these exams were taught by my mother and Maths Enthusiast Kit Graham. Personally I am sceptical about these rumours as the students seems to have the ability to read and write, this is fairly unusual skill at Telford College.

Pete Graham xXx

James Vernon Holbert Jr had been out drinking and decided he was too drunk to drive home, he decided to let his 14 year old son drive, unfortunately his son was Drunk too. Congratulations James you are this weeks Wally of the Week!

Mr Holbert faces up to 5 years in the slammer when he is sentenced in May. Unsurprisingly his intoxicated son couldn’t handle the vehicle very well and crashed it into a tree. The teen was charged with driving without a license and driving after illegal consumption of alcohol, which are both misdemeanours in Virginia.

Above is a picture of a dog driving a car because I couldn’t find a picture of a child driving one. Last weeks “Wally of the Week” was a Ginger Wally.

Pete Graham xXx

My good friend Kelvin “Dr Quansoon” Quansah sent me this list of superb double entendres that have been aired on British TV & Radio, enjoy:

1. Pat Glenn, weightlifting commentator - “And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!”
2. New Zealand Rugby Commentator - “Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl Gibson comes inside of him.”
3. Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator - “This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother.”
4. Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977 - “Ah, isn’t that nice. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the Cox of the Oxford crew.”
5. US PGA Commentator - “One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them ….. Oh my god!! What have I just said??”
6. Carenza Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on ‘Time Team Live’ said: “You’d eat beaver if you could get it.”
7. A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn’t, turned to the weatherman and asked, “So Bob, where’s that eight inches you promised me last night?” Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, because they were laughing so hard!
8. Steve Ryder covering the US Masters: “Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69 yesterday.”
9. Clair Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on Look North said: “There’s nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like this.”
10. Mike Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on Sky Sports: “Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis’s misses every chance he gets.”
11. Michael Buerk on watching Phillipa Forrester cuddle up to a male astronomer for warmth during BBC1’s UK eclipse coverage remarked: They seem cold out there, they’re rubbing each other and he’s only come in his shorts.”
12. Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open: “Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it by himself.”

If you have anything you’d like to see on this blog then don’t hesitate to contact me. You can even put it on your CV that you contributed to Pete Graham’s Peteamania blog, that’s bound to land you your next job or the promotion you’ve been after.
Pete Graham xXx

So this week Britney Spears has been making the headlines again! This time by shaving her head (gasp!). Lots of the media and speculating that this is a cry for help by Miss Spears, I however suspect that it’s not much more than a poorly veiled publicity stunt. The stunt seems almost over before it’s begun since she was seen wearing a blonde bob wig yesterday.

I’m not a huge fan of the type of music Britney does. I don’t think she deserves the Michaels Jackson status she has achieved, however I don’t think she’s bad at making pop-music. I’ll even admit that I quite liked “Do Something” but only because it sounded a bit like Salt ‘n’ Pepper. What I’d like to see Britney do now is stop the attention seeking antics and actually make some new music then, so we can decide if she’s crap or not.

Apparently the shaven hair is being sold on eBay, I sure some chump will buy it. Why is a woman shaving her head seen to be so shocking anyway? Here’s a interesting article on the BBC website about it.

Pete Graham xXx

There seem to be an increasing amount of Horse Faced Celebrities around these days.
Shockingly I couldn’t find any Horse Face lists searching on Google so I have taken it upon myself to compile one, here are Pete Graham’s top 5 horse faced celebs!

5. Celine Dion: Her face isn’t half as long as the other celebrities on this list but she makes number five for producing such awful music.

4. Mariah Carey: There definitely seems to be a positive correlation between diva’s and horse faces, this would make an excellent GCSE maths coursework.

3. Derrick Green: When Max Cavalera left Metal band Sepultura in 1996 the band decided to hire Horse Faced Derrick Green to distract people from the fact that their new material was rubbish.

2. Sarah Jessica Parker: SJP surely has the longest female horse face in human history. Lots of girls claim that she’s “really pretty” I am yet to mean a heterosexual man that agrees with this statement.

1.Chad Kroeger: The current undisputed king of horse faces, it will take a lot to knock this man of his horse face throne!

Other celebrities with Horse Faces worth mentioning are:

• Johnny Kerry: wasn’t included because he’s not a real celebrity
• Liv Tyler: not included as is quite attractive and Steven Tyler is ace!
• There was a rubbish Nu-metal band called “Kill 2 This” who achieved brief popularity in the early Noughties, one of the members of the band (I think it was the bassist) had the longest and most horse-like face that I’ve ever seen! Unfortunately I haven’t been able to find a picture of him. I once saw him at the “Rock Kitchen” club night in Manchester. Me and my friends danced round him in a mocking fashion, he pretended not to notice.

I’m sure they are lots more Horse face celebrities worth mentioning that I’ve forgotten, if you think of some add them in the comments section.

Pete Graham xXx

This weeks Wally of the Week is the Ginger one from Girls Aloud. She just spoils the whole band for me, why do they keep her in it? They might as well have stuck that big fat ginger from Hollyoaks or Chris Evans in the band!

Girls Aloud, have recently teamed up with the Sugababes to record a version of “Walk this Way” for Comic Relief. Personally I’m not very happy about this as Girls Aloud clearly outclass the Sugababes by miles. I’m just hoping that Girl’s Aloud might try and swap the fit one from the Sugababes with the Ginge. I doubt the Sugababes would notice as they’ve had so many line-up changes anyway. Last weeks Wally was Wally crushed by a truck!.

Pete Graham xXx

I’m not usually a big fan of mash-ups but I was listening to the Colin Murray show on Radio 1 last week, on it he played one called “Andrew Fights for his Right to Party Hard” this is a superb mixture of “Party Hard” by Andrew W.K and “Fight for your Right to Party” by the Beastie Boys. After a bit of Internet investigation I found this mash-up was created by TiM G. Unfortunately it seems the spoilsports at MTV have prevented him from offering his tracks to download. They’ve even gone as far as having the video removed from youtube, its mash-up for gods sake you chumps!

Another Mash-up worthy of mentioning is Sexymassive Black Hole, which is a combination of J.T’s “Sexy Back” and Muse’s “Supermassive Black Hole”. There is a link to download this on The Sound of No Hands clapping, which is an excellent blog in general for music info and album downloads.

I’m very excited that a new Bright Eyes album titled Four Winds in scheduled for release on March 6th 2007. I was a huge fan of Bright Eyes last two albums “I’m wide it’s Morning” and “Digital Ash in a Digital Urn” which were released in the Tandem in 2005. There is an annoying trick on the Bright Eyes promotional site, you have to sign-up for the mailing list before you can download the new track. Here’s a direct link to download the track Endless Entertainment. Also here’s a link to the Bright Eyes page on Salle Creek where you can download more tracks from his back catalogue.

Pictured above Andew W.K: An inspiration to us all!

Pete Graham xXx

I wrote a while ago about how I was looking forward to having a mid-life crisis in 2029 and buying a motorbike. My good friend Danniel “Gibbles” Gibreiter pointed out the Motorbike I drew wasn’t very futuristic, therefore I have redrawn it:

This motorbike was inspired by the cover of the Heavy Metal album Painkiller by Judas Priest, pictured below.

Painkiller in my opinion is the greatest Metal album of all time. If you don’t own it you should go out and buy a copy, even if you don’t like Metal you should just buy it for the artwork.

I am planning to set up an account on spice.co.uk soon, where you will be able to purchase my amazing artwork on T-shirts and mugs. How ace is that!

Pete Graham xXx