Hairy Wallies

It’s been a while since I did a Wally of the Week section, but its back now by popular demand!

This weeks wally is 32 year old “comedian” Shazia Mirza who’s new years resolution is to stop cutting all her body hair. Shazia is planning to organise as fashion show where hairy woman will model lingerie, I wonder if she’ll have Vivian Wheeler modelling.

Pictured above is Vivian Wheeler holder on the world record of the longest female beard! Vivian’s beard is a massive 27.9cm.

Talking about hairy people below is a pictured Yu Zhenhuan from China, 96% of Yu’s body is covered in hair. He is an aspiring Rock Star and says he is influenced by Rob Halford, what a legend!

Here’s a link to the last Wally of the Week I wrote.

Pete Graham xXx

Just before Christmas I had an excellent night out at the Bavarian Beerhouse in London (it’s near Old Street tube station). I was going to post the photo’s of the evening over Christmas but due to my lack of broadband I couldn’t

The venue itself is very exciting you get sat at large benches where the staff come and take your drink orders. All the staff are dressed in authentic Bavaraian costumes which means lederhosen for the men and odd cleavagey dresses for the ladies.

Above is a picture of me with one of the wench’s waitresses. Because it was busy we got sat with some random Australian chaps. When we got chatting we found one of them worked for Google, I hilariously gave him the nickname of GoogleBoy. GoogleBoy quickly became the figure of mockery for everyone at the table (the Maylord, our normal figure of mockery had got in a strop and gone home before anyone got to the Beerhouse). Below is a picture of me and GoogleBoy. GoogleBoy is the one with GoogleBoy written on his head.

Food can also be bought at the beerhouse, they do a giant platter of euro-sausages for £90. I offered to pay for this if Daniel Gebreiter could finish it on his own, Dan is renound for being a sausage monster. Upsettingly Dan was not willing to take up this offer.

The range of Beers is impressive they have different varieties of Erdinger, Paulaner and Warsteiner all on tap. The beers can be bought in half litre or litre “stein” glasses. Be warned once the staff realise your starting to get drunk they’ll attempt to sell you Jagermeister shots with each round of beers, I fell for this trick nearly everytime.

Later in that evening myself and Dan headed off to the “After School” indie disco due to the amount of beer and jage that had been consumed I can hardly remember anything about going.

Pete Graham xXx

I have started a new blog where I will be discussing my love of programming, technology and what I get up to at work. The blog is called Optimus Pete (I felt it was a catchier name than Pete’s Tech blog) check it out.

This means that I shall no longer be posting technology based articles on this blog so hopefully people will stop “Nerd Alerting” me, it also means that this blog will be purely for banter!

Pete Graham xXx

Last week I wrote the about my first lot of my new years resolutions for 2007, today I shall be writing about my second lot of goals; these are fitness based resolutions.

Some people will be saying it’s the 10th of January surely it’s too late to be making new years resolutions, and this is precisely what I think is wrong with them. People make a bunch of well meaning but unrealistic resolutions on the 1st of January and by a fews weeks into the new year they’ve broken them. For example I went to the gym last Thursday and it was ridiculously busy with “let’s get fit for the new year” chumps. Last night, less than a week later the number of the people in the gym had already halved.

Enough ranting here are my goals:

• Bench-press 100kg: last year I got up to bench pressing 75kg for 6 reps, Ideally I’d like to bench 100kg for 4 sets of 8 reps but as a initial aim I shall be trying to bench the weight for 1 or 2 reps.
• Squat 100kg: Squats are considered by many to be the King of all exercises; they are often over-looked when people work-out as many people just want to get massive guns. In the past I’ve squatted 70kg for 12 reps. Again initial aim is to lift the weight but ultimate goal is to achieve 4 sets of 12-16 reps.
• Dead-lift 150kg: Previously I have dead-lifted 110kg for 5 reps. I am aiming to get up to 4 sets of 10.

People with a basic knowledge of weight-lifting will notice that I have purposely chosen large compound lifts, training these core lifts will ensure that my base levels of strength and fitness increase. These lifts will train all the major muscle groups thus ensuring that my body stays in proportion.

Pictured above Body Building Wally Greg Valentino: Definitely not in proportion!

I have starting taking a mp3 player to the gym, last I listened to some Hatebreed and Throwdown while lifting weights, I think that listening to self-righteous hardcore while buffing out should help me achieve these goals in record time.

To quote my friend Wilf Grainger “There’s no future in being a fat bastard that can lift big weights” therefore part 3 of my resolutions will be some cardio based fitness goals.
Pete Graham xXx

Since I love technology I normally don’t keep stamps or envelopes in the house, however I needed to send a cheque to the Gaylords at Guildford council so I went to the shops on Sunday.

My first stop of was WHSmiths as it was highly likely to be able to supply me with my desired postage paraphernalia. While in Smiths I thought I’d treat myself to the 2007 Girls Aloud calendar, I was absolutely appalled to find they didn’t have any in stock. However I was still quite pleased as I managed to pick up this amazing pig calendar for my brother which was on sale.

While looking for envelopes I found myself in the pens section, I decided to have a browse to see how far pen technology had advanced since I had been at school. As many of you are probably aware I am a huge follower of canine fashion, however it is a lesser know fact that I am also a fan of stationery fashion, so I made my way over to the “fashion stationary” sub-section (its true it exists check your local WHSmickos). Now strangely all the pens on the fashion stationary shelves were pencil-pens, I can only conclude from this that pencils are the new pens in 2007. You heard it here first!
I managed to find some envelopes fairly easily but was bamboozled to where the stamps were, I then remembered that sometimes you have to ask at the till for stamps. It is relatively common knowledge that stamps are technically legal tender in England, I guess this is why they’re kept behind the counter however this got me thinking:

Q: apart from stamps what else is legal tender in Britain?
A: Money of course!

Q: What do stamps and money have in common?
A: They both feature pictures of the Queen.

I therefore conclude that anything with a picture of the Queen on it is legal tender, try printing out the picture below and buy something nice with it!

Pictured above the Queen; fit but she knows it.

Pete Graham xXx

The chumps at Guildford Borough Council are threatening to take me to court! Guildford council run Spectrum Energy Level, the gym I buff out at. They somehow managed to mess-up the direct-debit for my gym membership in December. I got a letter through just before the Christmas holidays informing me of this, I had forgot about the letter with all the festivities happening around the time.

Last Saturday I received a second letter threatening me with legal proceedings if I didn’t pay them the money I owe them within 7 days. Now I don’t have a problem paying them the cash but it just strikes me as being incredibly rude as it’s their own fault they never got it!

What a bunch of Gaylords! *

Pete Graham xXx

* The term Gaylords is used here in the context of the playground insult and is not a reference to homosexual aristocrats.

I moved my blog from petegraham.wordpress.com to this address last night. All future posts will be to this address unless something goes horrifically wrong!

I will be customising the blog and adding generally exciting stuff to the site in general over the next few weeks. Enjoy!

I will be posting a proper blog around lunchtime today.

Pete Graham xXx

Rocky Balboa the 6th Rocky film will be having its UK release on January 19th. I am planning on buying tickets to see it on its release date somewhere in central London. Let me know if you want to come along, there will be a compulsory dress-code this is it:

• boxing shorts (boxer shorts or short-shorts are acceptable alternatives)
• boxing gloves (this one is non-negotiable, well I might let people get away with those big hulks hands because they’re funny)
• boxing boots, high-top trainers are acceptable as Rocky trains with Converse all-stars on in the early films. Also high-top trainers are generally 80s-tastic
• a robe/dressing gown is also desirable but optional
• for extra points you may want to wear a super small mans crop-top as sported by rocky and Apollo Creed in Rocky 3

As always I am promoting creativeness so you can ignore the above dress-code if you would like to come as a character from any of the rocky films (Thunderlips, Clubber lang, Tommy Gun, Uncle Paulie’s Robot, Geeky Adrian from the first Rocky, etc)

There will be a prize for the best outfit, if you can’t make it to London then sent me a picture of your getup before 19th January.

I got the Police Academy DVD box-set for Christmas which I’m very much looking forward to watching. Initially I was going to watch all seven films in one sittings but I think that might be too much hilarity for even me. What I have decided to do is first watch the films in their entirety for pure enjoyment. I then plan to watch them again taking notes which I will use to relaunch my police academy website of the late nineties.

My friend Kenny Lee tells me there is an FBI agent called “Mahone” in Prison Break. Surely this can’t be a coincidence.

• FACT: In the late 90s my police academy website was the most popular police academy website on the Internet
• FACT: In the late 90s my police academy website was the only police academy website on the Internet.

To finish off 2007 is looking to be a very exciting year for films here are a few that I’m particularly looking forward to in no particular order:

• Transformers
• Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
• Spiderman 3
• Die Hard 4
• Rambo 4
• The Simpsons Film
• His Dark Materials: The Golden Compass

Pete Graham xXx

This blog has been banned by my former employers Telford College of Arts and Technology and can no longer be accessed within the college. If you are a member of staff at the College then request that the block is lifted, it is college policy that any site that a Teacher decides has educational merit must be unblocked. You only need read a few of posts on my Blog, to realise what an amazing educational resource this is to the youth of today.

On the subject of TCAT I would like to offer my congratulations to TCAT’s bearded principle Douglas Boynton for his recently awarded OBE. Doug was awarded his OBE by the Queen (yes the real Queen of England) last week.

Pete Graham xXx

My mother and poo enthusiast Kit Graham sent me an email this lunchtime drawing to my attention to a new craze sweeping America, Dog poo art!

While we’re on the subject of dogs one website that’s definite worth checking out is Dog Judo, it’s an animated comic strip which features two dogs with a keen interest in Judo, Power Date 1 is probably my favourite but all the video’s are worth checking out.

As many of you probably already know I am a very keen follower of canine fashion, I think the Judo outfit is a good look for this season but my favourite piece of dog clothing is still the binary-bone humans are stupid t-shirt available on ThinkGeek.com.

As I know what big fans you all are of my lists here our my top 8 dog films of all time.

1. look who’s talking now
2. turner and hooch
3. k-9
4. beethoven
5. homeward bound
6. scooby doo
7. lady and the tramp
8. 1001 Dalmations

Note: Scooby Doo is CGI so only comes in at #6. Look who’s talking now has John Travolta in it so gets to be #1.

Pete Graham xXx