Rules of Soaps – Part 1
January 19th, 2007 by 
Pete
Here is a list of rules that seems to apply to soaps operas (especially Neighbours, and Hollyoaks). I have observed these rules over my many dedicated years of soap following.
Break-up Rule: “I never want to see you again” This actually means I’m angry and we wont make up until next episode. Also “We’re breaking up for good” often means we’ll break up until next episode. See Russ and Mercedes from Hollyoaks for a recent example of this.
Prison Rule 1 – Same Cell: If anyone two people from a soap are in prison at the same time they are bound to be in the same wing of the same prison. Often they will even get to share a cell. Recent examples are Becker and Jacqui McQueen from Hollyoaks. Older examples are when Lou and Darcy from Neighbours got put in the same cell (Darcy had grown a goatee because that’s what people do in prison).
Pictured above Darcy without a goatee.
Prison Rule 2 – One in One Out: Neighbours seems to operate a one in one out policy on prisons and Darcy was released after sharing his cell with Lou for a few weeks. Roco is currently in prison so next time someone goes down he’ll probably be allowed out.
Moving and Coma Rule: If any one moves away but continues to get scene’s (i.e. they are filmed on the phone to a character still in the soap), they are bound to return. Also if anyone is ever put into a Coma it’s guaranteed they will wake-up in a few months time.
Please add your own Soap Rules to the comments section. There will be more Soap Rules next week!
Pete xXx
Posted in Banter, Pete Graham, hollyoaks, neighbours, rules of soaps, soap operas | 
7 Comments »
January 21st, 2007 at 12:09 pm
Doctor Rule.
There is only one doctor that can perform every medical procedure in the world. The only exception to this rule is the soap: “Doctors”
Everyone else is mad rule.
There will always be one person who knows they are right, but no-one else will believe them until it is too late. This will cause the person to go crazy trying to prove they are right, and ultimately end up in ruins. eg Max from neighbours, OB from Oaks
January 21st, 2007 at 3:41 pm
I love the fact that the big KK can run a GP surgery, appears to the only doctor in the entire Hospital and yet still has plenty of time to have a hilarious obsession with making it in the music industry. It must be the longest running mid-life crisis in soap history.
January 22nd, 2007 at 9:24 am
People who aren’t important in the scope of the soap are mysteriously unable to speak. Perhaps the soap focuses on the main characters because they are the only ones with the power of communication in a world of mutes?
January 30th, 2007 at 3:41 pm
[...] After the run away success of Rules of Soaps Part 1 here is the much anticipated sequel! [...]
February 9th, 2007 at 2:56 pm
[...] I’d like to congratulate all the readers who have contributed their own rules of soaps so far, let’s have any other ones you have added to this post. Here are links to Rule of Soaps Part 1 and Part 2 encase you missed them. [...]
March 15th, 2007 at 1:19 pm
hey pete/others
can we have a random look-a-like section of the blog? (apologies if there already is one, i havent looked around much)
preferably based around people we know? its essetially the chance to take the piss from a safe distance for others amusement…
i’d like to mention that dotty looks alot like Katya from neighbours (check out the character list on the neighbours page fans!)
plus i’d personally love it if everyone who did mention a look-a-like could end their post with the following;
“you know i’ve never seen them in the same room together…”
however unlikely it is that you and they would be in the same room together! (also, if you did find yourself in the same room with your subjects would you bring it to their attention or would you just sit back and wait for that weird look of recognition to appear on their faces….????? its one of lifes ‘big’ questions.
so yeah dotty and katya!
“you know i’ve never seen them in the same room together…”
September 9th, 2008 at 3:15 pm
The soap weather rule
(This applies mainly in aussie soaps)
The weather will always be glorious, unless:
a) someone has just run away from home and has to sleep rough
or
b) someone is about to give birth and is on their way to hospital.
In both cases, there will be an unprecedented thunder storm, rivers will break their banks, and roads will be flooded.
It strikes me that one way of avoiding drought in certain parts of Australia would be to throw all teenagers out of the house, or refrain from telling pregnant mothers when they are due! – The ensuing floods would provide enough water to turn all of Australia into a lush green oasis!