I was in the local Tesco’s this afternoon doing my weekly shop and stocking up on Vier’s, when something in the fruit and vegetables aisle caught my eye. For some reason the Tesco’s of Guildford had decided to stock their shelves with the biggest Avocado in the world. The beast of a fruit is pictured below.

FACT: The Avocado like the tomato is technically a Fruit not a vegetable.

I have decided that this Avocado is so big that could have only been produced using Alien Genetic Engineering technologies, in fact I suspect the giant Avocado may even been some form of Alien egg.

Lets analyse the evidence:

1. Its green; 58% aliens are green
2. The Checkout girl couldn’t find it on her till so I got it for free (almost like someone or something had planted it in the supermarket for me to find)
3. Its huge!

I have banned anyone from sitting on the Avocado/Alien-Egg in case that causes it to hatch. I shall be keeping a close eye on it monitoring for any paranormal activities.

Pete Graham xXx

I managed to get my hands on some pints of Bock on Tap at the Selkirk in Tooting on Friday night. Bock Artois is a 6.2% super-premium larger which completes the Atrois Tri-force of Peeterman Artois and Classic Stella. Bock Artois is a drink shrouded in mystery and urban myth so I would like to confirm a few facts about it.

FACT: Bock is a dark larger somewhat similar in flavour to Duvell
FACT: Drinking Bock is guaranteed to send you turbo! And should only be attempted under the supervision of a responsible adult

Below is a festive photo of me wearing a cardigan with a pint of Bock.

FACT: Chicks dig cardigans

Pete xXx