So last night I wrote a post about a few of buttons of the keyboard that annoy me. To be honest I thought the subject was a little geeky and not many people would read it, turns out its been the most popular post on my blog ever!

A few other keys have been mentioned that other people find annoying if you want to replace other keys on your board (without ripping them off) then try these out:

• Easy to Use Key Mapping Utility
• If your more of a geek you can map the keys yourself by hacking the windows registry

Below is a ground breaking new keyboard which has been designed for scouser usability in mind:

Pete xXx

I’ve decided to start a new Wally of the week section. The first Creationist Museum in the world will be opening in Kentucky Ohio next year (FACT Kentucky is where KFC Colonel Sanders comes from). This will be the first in the world and is costing 25 million dollars!

Apparently a lot of the money is going to be spent on animatronic dinosaurs which will be shown coexisting with modern humans. Now I think someone has been watching a bit too much Flintstones here. I mean despite the huge amounts of scientific research that show that dinosaurs and modern humans lived millions of years apart, these guys still believe this. Also its obvious to me that these guys have never seen Jurassic Park which proves without any doubt that Humans can’t coexists with dinosaurs.

Anyway whatever floats your boat you crazy creationists! If you want to pay me a few Mill I’ll be happy to wear a T-Rex suit and chase an actor portraying Jesus around your museum. Oh and congratulations for winning Wally of the Week!

Pete xXx

FACT The Caps Lock key is officially rubbish who actually uses it? I know I never do.

Here’s a handy little utility that will turn the Caps Lock key into a 3rd “Ctrl” key, this is especially useful if you use the Vim text editor heavily, which I have been for the past few weeks.

While I’m at whats the “Alt Gr” key supposed to be for? I’m pressing it now! I’m pressing it.. I’m hitting the key like a crazy man and it’s doing bugger all! Rubbish!!!

I’m not entirely convinced by the separate numeric keys on the right of the board either but think I’ve probably talked about Keyboards for long enough now people are probably getting worried.

Pete xXx

I had an absolute disaster this morning when I left the house shutting the door behind me only to realise that I had forgot my keys inside. What caused Pete Graham to have this uncharacteristic bout of forgetfulness? Early morning tiredness? Was he concentrating too much on the delicious protein shake he was drinking? Maybe he’d been unknowingly gang probed by aliens the night before.. Your guess is as good as mine.

All my house mates had gone to work, so I did what any self-respecting man would do, I jumped the fence and tried to break in around the back. This was actually quite a feat of agility and strength as its a 7 foot fence and I was wearing very tight jeans and sporting a man-bag long scarf combination at the time. The houses fortress like security prevented me from gaining entry (ooohh errrr missus), but thankfully I managed to get in touch with our Houses Agent who drove over and let me in.

Anyway I believe there are two morals to this story:

1. Don’t be a wally and check you have your keys before you leave the house
2. Skin-tight drainpipes are great for looking cool at indie disco’s but not ideal attire for fence jumping and free running, well unless they’ve got a lot of Lycra in them.

Picture: Johny Borrell from Razorlight, probably not very good at climbing fences (not wearing those bad boys anyway).

Pete xXx

In this entry I will continue to cover the fascinating world of hybrid animals. Today we shall be delving into the fantastic aquatic world of seafaring hybrids!

I will be concentrating on Dolphin hybrids the most common of which is the Wolphin pictured below.

The Wolphin is the offspring of a female bottlenose dolpin and a male false killer wale. Much rarer is the Wolfin or Sea Wolf.

The Wolfin is the offspring of a male dolphin with a female wolf. Due to the rarity of the Wolfin I could only find this artists impression rather than an actual photo.

The rarest of all Dolphin hybrids is the Dolf, these beatiful animals are formed by the mating of a female dolphin and a male wolf. Tragically even thought the Dolf’s head is very similar in appearance to a dolphin it does require a snorkel to survive underwater.

I’d like to give a big up to my boy Tommy O “the one man show” who informed me about the cat grooming craze sweeping the nation. Tom is actually a professionally trained feline groom-master and would be more than happy to attend to any of your pussy styling or shaving needs.

Pete xXx

This is a slightly more serious post than normal if your only interested in the comedy banter posts then just go to this address http://petegraham.wordpress.com/tag/banter/.

A few people trying to access the Blog last night may not have been able to. The connection to the site kept timing out, this seemed to be a problem with most Wordpress blogs. I experienced this problem myself when I returned from working the guns at the gym and tried to get on the Blog.

I plan to be moving the blog to its own domain soon (www.peteg.co.uk or www.petegraham.co.uk) as the Wordpress servers seem a bit slow in general. Moving the blog should enable me to customise it more, I’m planning on adding some extra stuff like galleries too.

And now a quick break down of my Google rankings:

• Peteamania: Still #1 not really surprising as its a Pretty obscure word.
• Pete Graham: Yesterday my ranking dropped from #7 to #17 in the evening it went up to #5. Not sure what caused the fluctuation.
• “Pete Graham”: #5 today was #17 yesterday.

The difference between the bottom two is searching for “Pete Graham” (with quotes) searches for the entire string “Pete Graham” where as Pete Graham (without quotes) searches for pages with the terms Pete and Graham in them. For more information on advanced Google searching have a look at Google Guide Advanced Operators Reference.

People seems to have been loving the Ligers post so I have a follow post planned for later today on other hybrid animals.

Pete xXx

Apparently Cat Grooming is going to be the next big thing. I have included a picture of a cat with a very fashionable Lion Cut, check it out:

So what are you waiting for get grooming your pussies today, all the cool kids are doing it!

Pete xXx

I submitted my blog to Google yesterday and the site is now showing up in their listings, at the time of writing this I am:

#1 for Peteamania
#7 for Pete Graham

We’ll have to work on the Pete Graham rating but at least I’ve gone in on the first page. I was disappointed to find out that I am nowhere to be seen on the Google Image search for Pete Graham.

I am delighted to see that www.para-in-wenners.co.uk still has the #1 spot when you search for para in wenners even thought Wilf made the site private about a year ago.

My mySpace profile comes up #2 when searching for Peteamania, in fact mySpace seems to get indexed absolutely loads by Google. Not really that strange considering it’s one of the most popular sites on the Internet, except when I checked about 6 months ago mySpace profiles weren’t being registered by Google at all, hhhmmm.

Other good news, Cookie found my jacket last night, that I thought got nicked on Friday night. Apparently it was at the bottom of his suitcase all along. Not sure how it got in there, probably part of his plan to steal my clothes and see me naked.

Pete xXx

I was planning to buff-out tonight but am staying in as I feel a bit tired, so as promised here’s my entry about Ligers!

I was amazed to find out today that Ligers are infact real animals, I thought they were a mythical beast. Here are Pete’s top liger facts!

• FACT: Ligers are the offspring of a male lion and a female tiger
• FACT: Ligers have Tiger like stripes but rarely have manes
• FACT: Ligers like to swim like tigers but are sociable like lions
• FACT: Ligers been know to grow far bigger than lions and tigers

Below is a picture of a real-life liger:

Here is the Napolean Dynamite drawing of the liger from the film for comparison:

Pete xXx

A few people have contacted requesting further details on how my toirtoise coffee table (mentioned in Saturdays Blog) would work. A picture speaks a thousand words so I have used my amazing paint skills to draw a diagram.

I had a look on thetortoiseshop.com to see how much one would cost unfornutately even very small ones seem quite expensive. However I think it needs to be considered that tortoises live a very long time and you would be saving yourself the price of a new coffee table.

I am trying to do at least one Blog post a day, but yesterday was Sunday and I couldn’t be arsed writting anything + I don’t think Jesus would approve of blogging on Sunday. If I have time I should have a great post later today on Ligers.

Pete xXx