Lost Keys Knightmare!!!
November 23rd, 2006 by 
petegraham
I had an absolute disaster this morning when I left the house shutting the door behind me only to realise that I had forgot my keys inside. What caused Pete Graham to have this uncharacteristic bout of forgetfulness? Early morning tiredness? Was he concentrating too much on the delicious protein shake he was drinking? Maybe he’d been unknowingly gang probed by aliens the night before.. Your guess is as good as mine.
All my house mates had gone to work, so I did what any self-respecting man would do, I jumped the fence and tried to break in around the back. This was actually quite a feat of agility and strength as its a 7 foot fence and I was wearing very tight jeans and sporting a man-bag long scarf combination at the time. The houses fortress like security prevented me from gaining entry (ooohh errrr missus), but thankfully I managed to get in touch with our Houses Agent who drove over and let me in.
Anyway I believe there are two morals to this story:
- Don’t be a wally and check you have your keys before you leave the house
- Skin-tight drainpipes are great for looking cool at indie disco’s but not ideal attire for fence jumping and free running, well unless they’ve got a lot of Lycra in them.
Picture: Johny Borrell from Razorlight, probably not very good at climbing fences (not wearing those bad boys anyway).
Pete xXx
Posted in Banter | 
9 Comments »
November 23rd, 2006 at 2:53 pm
i’m disappointed you didn’t spell nightmare with a K.
November 23rd, 2006 at 3:02 pm
Good point I’ll change it, but not now, the Wordpress admin system is running ridiculously slow. Really need to get this blog moved.
November 23rd, 2006 at 5:59 pm
Whats the crack? I left a reply, basically slagging off the “one man show” and nothing has appeared. Would like to think i’ve been banned by some wordpress nazis but doubt its that exciting.
November 23rd, 2006 at 6:15 pm
Crouty mate, I deffinately haven’t deleted any comments, especially by your good-self. Are you sure the comment got submitted?
I’m gutted that we missed out on a bit of Tommy O mocking, good job there’s alot of it to go round!
November 23rd, 2006 at 9:30 pm
absolute gaylords, Kit can you ban this bad publicity if any appears.
Much love tommy o, so good it shows, to all the haters I say no, if you mess me, off your head will blow, all I want for christmas is a lot of snow.
Peace in the middle east
much love
Rhomas
November 24th, 2006 at 10:57 am
regarding j bo don’t you remember his aerial prowess when he was leaping around the stage like the little genius he is at live8 last year?? so don’t tell tell me skin tights are not ideal young man!!
in other news have you heard about the duet between j bo and b flo? its surely the stuff of dreams. i can think of only one duet that could possibly top, oh yesthe mills and the molkos
xx
November 24th, 2006 at 11:08 am
Only a gimp would wear jeans that you have been poured into and try to scale a fence. The KEY to your problem is to wear baggy jeans
November 24th, 2006 at 2:10 pm
Dear Pete,
So you lost your keys huh? That’s interesting. If you ever find yourself in that situation again wearing super tight jeans. Then never fear you won’t need to scale a fence again with this handy tip.
I parked my car on Lenton Boulevard the other day. I then went home for a well deserved rest. However I stupidly forgot to return my car stereo to the local youths I’d borrowed it from *smacks head* (I am ridiculously old and forgetful). This meant they were locked out of my car without any keys, but being the resourceful fellows they are, they just hefted a brick through my passenger window. Fantastic. They get their stereo back and I get a free brick. Everyone’s a winner.
So the moral of this story is if you find yourself locked out, never fear, just heft a brick through the window.
Love
Warped R Stoned xxx
December 12th, 2006 at 11:40 am
[...] Some skin-tight drain-pipe jeans like Johnny Borrell Wears [...]